Monday, August 16, 2010

Your Will.. my Hope and Future..

after reading my previous post, i've realised that i've been down and depressed for quite some time now.. during YA yesterday, our dear Sheryl shared about sharing each others burden.. it left me thinking that we've not done that in a long while.. we might think that our problem is insignificant and there's no need to share it with each other.. but if its slowly eating us from the inside, stealing our joy and love for God, isnt that a serious matter?? i decided to share my problem right away with them.. i dont know what they think but i feel its a BIG hurdle for me.. the next vital step im gonna take..

this morning, my mood wasnt that good.. just out of the blue.. i seriously dont know why.. but after worship and listening to the preaching, i felt much better.. thank u God! =) AKF shared about God's will.. whether we consult him with what are we gonna do and whether the thing that we wanna do is what God wants and plans for us.. its not as easy as it sounds.. so.. i've decided after such an INCREDIBLY long time of walking around the bush, im just gonna leave it in God's hand and pray and ask God if its his will for my future.. talking with my friend, this idea suddenly popped out in my head.. i've never EVER thought of it before.. is it a sign?? or am i just thinking too much?? im so vulnerable.. i really dont wanna think and be depressed anymore.. im SICK of being DEPRESSED and CRYING about it.. just thinking about it brings a lump to my throat and makes my eyes watery...

i dont like my manja-fied voice.. makes me sound like a childish spoilt brat.. i'll have to remind myself to change my voice everytime i suddenly realise im talking like a small kid..

be positive girl.. coz what shows on the outside actually reflects what u are feeling on the inside... and im a HUGE mirror that reflects it.. so i'll have to be more careful and happy and win my stolen JOY back.. joy.. its actually a BIG word.. =)