Twist

after writing that post and reading other people's blog, i feel much better.. my frown has loosened.. my breathing has evened.. a slight smile on my face.. i think i always feel better after letting out whats inside of me.. like how i told you of my frustrations and happenings last week, i felt better and drew a sigh of relief..

i wanna talk to you, God.. i wanna lie down on Your lap, and let You stroke my hair.. just lying there quietly... no conversation needed.. i just need to feel Your comfort.. the feeling that i was worth creating.. and it was worth it..the price You paid on the cross for me.. coz You love me so...thats what i've always dreamed of... will it happen some day?

okay.. time to cheer up! i watched a cooking show where this guy baked yummy chocolate brownies!! ooooooohh! i miss the time i used to bake! my cheesecake! my chocolate cake! the only problem with baking is that i dont know who is gonna finish what i baked.. i only want to taste a portion of it.. shall i approach my cute neighbour and let him be the mangsa of my experiments? i forgot his name already.. anyways, i really wanna bake again! my oven rosak-ed already... saddddd..

oh yea.. i was sick since monday.. monday was terrible.. thank God for helping me thru monday! tuesday was better.. wednesday was worse than tuesday but better than monday.. thursday is somewhere near wednesday.. so lets see how friday will be..

give thanks with a grateful heart! lets give thanks for every little thing.. hmmm.. how shall i start? thank God i made it back home safely? without Bianco getting scratched.. without Bianco kena hentam by that road bully.. thank God i reached home in 1hr 45mins and not 2hrs like on monday?? thank God its cold tonight and its so nice to sleeeeeeeeeppppp.. thank God tomoro is friday! im feeling better already! i can even smile a full smile now! =)

oh well.. im gonna head to my bed soon.. i've been having strange dreams lately.. people i dont even think of show up in my dream.. really weird! maybe i'll dream of you tonight? ;) *wink*

Swing

wow.. its been almost a year since i posted something! i guess its a good thing as well coz no one visits my blog anymore?? hehehe.. i can syiok sendiri now! wheeee~

i was all smiles yesterday coz of the smooth traffic and im all frowns today thanks to the sluggish unmoving traffic. i was angry with my manager coz he asked me to take this road and it was so jam! in the end, the other road he took was better (i think) coz he reached home 30mins before me!

anyways, lots of thoughts always go thru my mind.. from one thing, i can go a long long way till i cant remmeber how my first thought lead to this thought now! lols.. i booked my flight to australia few months ago.. i think it was in may? and now... i dont feel like going... i was so very excited before.. but now, i dont feel like going.. i cant change anything coz the flight is booked and my friend has planned things for me. oh well, come what may....

it happened again.. this thing that im so very afraid of.. i feel like im an egg, that rolls around casually on a smooth surface and before you know it, the egg drops flat on the ground.. *splat*!! it takes awhile to paste the shell pieces back together.. and the cracks still remain..

why must it be this way? tu.. porque?? wae?? i always seem to choose the rocky path, with full of obstacles... wrong timing? perhaps.. wrong target? i think so too.. i better u-turn before i hit the deadend head on! but..but... the car is accelerating.. by itself? maybe.. most probably.. its always this way..

how i wish th prophecy isnt true! thats something that is very important to me.. is that what U really want for me? i constantly covet others.. wishing i have what they are having.. that smile.. that laughter.. that feeling.. it seems so far away.. i cant see the end of the tunnel.. i'll continue walking.. stumbling.. getting up again.. sprinting. running.. getting out of breath. collapse?? nahhh.. i'll just take a breather and continue running on! =)