what next??

i wanted to blog about my last days in Port Dickson doing my internship but i guess no one is interested in that other than myself so i'll just keep those memories to myself.. crazy and tiring but nevertheless, fun!..

on saturday after coming back from the orphanage, i was awaken from my nap by jane's call.. i groggily said hello and jane said 'jean...do u want to go to korea?!'... i was like...whaaa...whaatt??.. half of my brain was still in sleepland.. after repeating afew times and explaining to blur me that she's asking me if i want to go on a trip to korea with her in july... i was like.. O.o i've always wanted to go to korea! and japan! but japan is much more expensive and according to jane, this trip is cheaper than the normal price and its organised by the Korean Tourism Board.. after telling my mom and sis and thinking hard.. (not that hard i guess coz half of me wanted to go when she told me!), i agreed to go with her!! wohooooooooo!!~ korea baybeh!!

i then realised that i have to renew my passport and the date to pay the deposit was today (18th May).. jane and her father went down to the travel agency and helped me pay the deposit (thanks so much!!).. but after thinking of it, is it worth the money spent?? i mean, im still a student.. people my age are all serious about their future education and job.. but me? what am i doing?? flushing my money away to go on holiday?? sighhhhh.. but i really want to go... i've always wanted to travel.. i know if i didnt agree to go, i'll be thinking about it everyday and wishing that i could go...

i dont know what to study.. i dont know what job should i do.. im so aimless.. people have dreams and want to be something great and they strive for it.. but me? i feel so useless.. people ask me, how can i not have a dream?? didnt i plan for my future?? well.. i planned but its not as easy as it sounds... my plans are all not going to work out so i'll have to start with a new plan for my future but im just so stuck right now..

i've realised that my posts have all been kinda depressing lately... its been a long time since i've written a cheerful, happy post.. well, im just not happy and cheerful these days.. sorry to the people around me.. im supposed to be an example to people but i guess im a bad example.. today wasnt a very good day for me too.. choosing between right and wrong... the wrong way seems so fun and the right way seems so boring... like what God said.. the path to hell is a broad pathway but the path to righteousness is narrow.. its not 100% like whats written in the Bible but as long as i understand and u get the msg, thats what matters right?? hahaha.. im starting to think that is so true.. doing the right thing is sometimes so boring, lame and old-fashioned.. but i guess if u put God first, that is what that matters right??