family

my sister msged me today, asking that if im free, give her and call so we can chat.. honestly, i kept hesitating.. i dont know since when but i fear speaking on the phone with people.. to have a chat or talk about something.. business calls arent that bad coz customers being rude is expected.. but im afraid of that awkwardness when there reaches a point where there's nothing to say during a call.. that awkward silence where u dont know if u should end the call to end the awkwardness or continue on talking.. in the end.. i thought.. hey.. its my sister.. why am i avoiding?? so i took up the courage and called her.. and im so glad i did.. coz i really miss her.. =/ she said that from the tone of my voice, she knows something isnt right with me.. why am i so sad.. sighhh.. she says she feels bad.. before i actually dialed her number, i was already crying.. T_T

my family doesnt express how much we care for each other with words.. the words 'i miss u' or 'i love u' is just so difficult to utter.. even though i miss my mom or sis or bro, its just hard to say so.. but before ending the call, we said we missed each other.. amazing huh? haha..

its my mom's bday today.. somehow, im not in the mood.. sorry mom.. i dont know what to get her too.. she's really picky with clothes and shoes and bags. its useless if i buy something that she doesnt like.. cook? i did that last time.. what do i do now?

its not only me thats feeling down these days.. my good friend is feeling down too.. one day im comforting her, and the next, she's comforting me.. lol.. im not good with words to comfort people.. sorry.. i just know how to listen.. not give advise.. who am i to advise someone when i myself am not doing so well?