Taiping typing Taiping typing!

its been decided! our road trip will be to Taiping.. or at least i think so.. ahaha.. looking forward to this road trip and i really hope more ppl can join! the more the funner! i really miss the times we spent together.. i still think that the PD trip was the most memorable.. idk why but i just smile when i think of that trip.. imagine.. everyone was tired after christmas and some even didnt wanna go already! but it turned out to be a great trip! for me la at least.. :P so i hope and pray that this coming trip will be a good one.. one full of great memories with the people i oh so love.. =)

i cant help but rant here about this.. its my blog so i can write whatever i want right? im getting so frustrated with u! seriously.. are ur fingers so lazy to reply my msg? is it so hard to do so? or am i just like an irritating mosquito to u?! does this mean its total revenge mode on for you or this is the end? i so wanna treat u as a punching bag right now...and so i've decided..right at this moment! this is the end for me.. good bye.

??

i know my future's in Your hands
all of my hopes and dreams and plans
You gave me strength to live
and faith to succeed, i believe in You
because You believe in me..

whenever i think about my future, this song comes to mind.. what will my future be like? are my studies gonna be fine? can i do it? and after i complete it, what am i going to work as? i dont know what im good at still... so whenever i get these thoughts, i'll play this song in my head..

i committed this morning's drumming into God's hands.. i haven't practiced and i know i couldnt do it.. but before i stepped on stage, i just told God...'i havent been practicing and i dont think i can play well.. im sorry but i really need Your help.. i put my drumming into Your hands Lord.. Holy Spirit please help me'.. and He really did help! all glory be to God! =)

back to my emo-ness update and this was actually from some time ago... wakakakkaa... i was feeling kinda down at that time coz u didnt keep in contact with me..when you called the person beside me, i know u asked about me and how was i doing.. but you could just ask the person you called to pass the phone to me.... and u didnt! i was kinda hurt... i know that u needed some alone time with ur frens and i cant be tagging with u all the time.. but suddenly yesterday, i just found out something!!.. u did try to contact me during that time.. when i thought i wasnt on ur mind and u were probably so happy with ur frens, u actually did try to contact me.. and i just found out last night! and then it got me thinking, all that while, i didnt keep in touch with you either.. it was my pride and my previous hurts that prevented me from making that first step.. and now, at present, is that why you're not keeping in touch? coz u know that i cant be? it only lasted for that moment.. and after that, it's just a memory.. the past..

i should be living in the future right? pass is pass.. i'll have to look forwards in order to walk forwards.. God.. im so confused.. i know i cant always get what i want.. but from all the other people around me, looking at real life examples, i think it's just impossible.. it's too much to hope for.. it's just a dream.. anyways, i know You have wonderful plans for me.. and like Jon said, lets just walk where he leads us.. i'll be like a blade of grass in the field, and You'll be the strong yet calm wind that will blow me in the direction that You want me to go..Your thoughts are higher, Your ways are higher.. i should stop thinking too much and just go along with the Wind~

Back home! but going off again!

came back home today! ahhhh.. indeed there's no place like home! *big grin*.. u can relax, do whatever u want, walk around in ur towel.. home! but i'll be off to singapore again tomoro morning! this years' cny's theme can be 'travel'! it took us 9 and a half, almost 10 hours to get from KL to Kedah last saturday! told my mom we should leave on sunday but she didnt want to listen and i didnt want to argue with her..and so, we had to go thru that crazy jam! a new experience to encounter but i think it wasnt as bad as sitting in the plane! planes are uncomfortable for me.. maybe coz i always sit experience economy class? lols..oh well.. wait till i save up lots and i'll get myself into business class.. fuyoooo! ahaha..

i was let down yet again.. but i told myself, this is the last time.. and then, i'll move on and never look back..! i'll have to keep reminding myself that it's your lost and my gain.. ur at the losing end.. not me.. so jeannette, this is the last time and u have to get over it okay? *pats head* =)

is this goodbye?

i knew it was coming.. but suddenly yesterday, my mom told me it was so soon.. i was kinda shocked.. coz i know it will be soon but i didnt expect it to be THAT soon! i told her i wasnt ready! and she said 'didnt u expect already?' yes i expected, but u just suddenly tell me the dateline which is so soon! sighhh..

i love them all.. all the memories.. its just too many to close the chapter now.. i think we wont keep in touch like now.. right? look at the previous 'experiences'.. we arent so close already but i dont want that to happen.. coz i really feel the bond between us all..

in order to move forward, i think we have to take this step.. it's the only way.. it's a heavy step to take.. i dont know what will happen in between the first and second step.. all i can do is commit it to God..

coming back to the update of my candidate, 'X'... finally contacted me.. and i sengaja replied late! wakakakaka.. revenge is sweet! that resulted in X msging a few times.. blueks! i dont feel bad at all! but then suddenly, i saw that X went out with his ex... and that was after msging me! and X didnt reply my msg after that! i guess that was when they met up.. so i was just chucked to the side again.. like always.. therefore, im going into revenge mode again.. 'no reply' mode on! hah! talk to the hand baybeh!

Exposed!

i feel so exposed! the cat is let out of the bag! and the cat isnt able to go back in... but somehow, i feel relieved.. i dont have to hide anymore.. i can be open! but still, i dont think it's gonna work.. im just glad that i can now let out what im thinking and feeling.. =) i think this phase will last for a short time and in a few weeks time, i'll be back to normal.. the hunter.. kekeke.. :P

smile more =)

thats what i heard from my mom and someone else.. i guess i dont have a friendly pleasant face unless i smile?

'how come ur happy all the time?'.. i asked.. 'trust me, it's not easy but it's better being happy than sad all the time'.. that answer is very true.. which im trying my best to do..

take it easy and remember to smile.. thats what i should do! i'll make everything thing seem alright and create a more cheerful atmosphere to the ppl around me.. thats what i'll do!

i tried not to bring this up and wanted to make this a happy post but i just wanna get it off my chest.. if u wanna meet someone, if u are eager, u would ask that someone right? so... if ur not interested, i'll slowly try to loose interest as well.. it's u that is at the loosing end coz im jeannette, the awesomest girl ever! =)

seek Him

i think i started 2012 on a wrong note.. what is Jeannette becoming into? this thought suddenly came to me as i was walking in pasar malam just now.. i dont think what i did was pleasing in God's sight.. im His ambassador here on earth.. did i do it to get recognition from my friends? to feel accepted? i think so.. i dont think the old me would have done that.. or am i more grown up now and just simply naive and boring last time? what is right and what is wrong? i really dont know.. who do i turn to to ask what to do?

i was thinking of what Christine shared for YA. 'seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you..' am i doing what is right according to Him? as i was in church today, i suddenly felt so far away from God.. what does He want me to do with my life this year? what does He want me to accomplish?

timing.. i think this is a very difficult thing for me.. the right timing.. im so so impatient. but i think my Heavenly Father knows whats best for me, and has reserved every good thing for me. right God? i dont know whats Your plan, but i think i need to hold Your hand and guide me down this path. i havent gotten my life planned out like some ppl. im just taking it one step at a time..

im so jealous.. but some people told me not to be.. but i am.. i'll try not to be. (:

catch me if u can/want

i got strength from posting that previous post.. i have to heal my blisters by leaving it open.. which was what i really did to my real blisters.. haha.. i guess im a person that lets out my feelings by typing/writing it out.. it makes me feel better.. =)

now im back home.. back to my life.. this is my life.. the crazy traffic i have to endure.. the ppl at work.. the crazy clients.. my family.. my friends.. it's reality.. the previous week was a break from my crazy life.. the life that i just couldnt stand and earnestly needed a break.. and it felt good for a moment.. leaving everything behind.. i guess u cant get the best of both worlds? u just have to pick one..

and now, im gaining strength after letting this out, to say to u, catch me if u can/want.. (:

Im Back / It's a phase

im back from my holiday!! woooootssss!! i have so many stories but i think it'll take afew hours to write it all down..all in all, flying alone wasnt that scary after all.. but getting lost in another country is! is that what im good at? i got lost in korea and singapore! and now, australia gets added to that list.. hahaha..

i was feeling kinda sad in the beginning of the trip coz i just couldnt fit in.. i wanted to go home and started to miss my friends..that comfort of familiarity.. i prayed for strength and it eventually got better.. God was indeed watching over me. Thanks God.. high 5!

on my last night there, i was feeling down but he told me not to feel so sad..'it's just a phase', he said.. i got hurt by that comment.. a phase? is that all u can say? ouchhh.. and i fell silent.. he tried to cheer me up.. he really did.. i tried to cheer up to make him feel better..

and im back home now. it was hard to adjust back to our lifestyle here/food/weather/time/people and i had to do it in 1 and a half days.. i guess i did alright adjusting back.. and although work was annoyingly irritating today, where some ppl didnt do what the work i handed over to them, and just waited almost 2 freakin weeks for me to come back and do it, i think i did okay today.. =)

i was in so much anticipation coming back home today.. was thinking about it the entire day and even smiled to myself.. now i feel so stupid.. im going down that road again.. and now, i agree with u.. i'll painfully blurt out, 'its a phase'.. its a phase that stays there and gets left behind.. coz its impossible..what about the saying 'nothing is impossible'? nahhh.. in this case, it is.... impossible =)