??

i know my future's in Your hands
all of my hopes and dreams and plans
You gave me strength to live
and faith to succeed, i believe in You
because You believe in me..

whenever i think about my future, this song comes to mind.. what will my future be like? are my studies gonna be fine? can i do it? and after i complete it, what am i going to work as? i dont know what im good at still... so whenever i get these thoughts, i'll play this song in my head..

i committed this morning's drumming into God's hands.. i haven't practiced and i know i couldnt do it.. but before i stepped on stage, i just told God...'i havent been practicing and i dont think i can play well.. im sorry but i really need Your help.. i put my drumming into Your hands Lord.. Holy Spirit please help me'.. and He really did help! all glory be to God! =)

back to my emo-ness update and this was actually from some time ago... wakakakkaa... i was feeling kinda down at that time coz u didnt keep in contact with me..when you called the person beside me, i know u asked about me and how was i doing.. but you could just ask the person you called to pass the phone to me.... and u didnt! i was kinda hurt... i know that u needed some alone time with ur frens and i cant be tagging with u all the time.. but suddenly yesterday, i just found out something!!.. u did try to contact me during that time.. when i thought i wasnt on ur mind and u were probably so happy with ur frens, u actually did try to contact me.. and i just found out last night! and then it got me thinking, all that while, i didnt keep in touch with you either.. it was my pride and my previous hurts that prevented me from making that first step.. and now, at present, is that why you're not keeping in touch? coz u know that i cant be? it only lasted for that moment.. and after that, it's just a memory.. the past..

i should be living in the future right? pass is pass.. i'll have to look forwards in order to walk forwards.. God.. im so confused.. i know i cant always get what i want.. but from all the other people around me, looking at real life examples, i think it's just impossible.. it's too much to hope for.. it's just a dream.. anyways, i know You have wonderful plans for me.. and like Jon said, lets just walk where he leads us.. i'll be like a blade of grass in the field, and You'll be the strong yet calm wind that will blow me in the direction that You want me to go..Your thoughts are higher, Your ways are higher.. i should stop thinking too much and just go along with the Wind~