Back to work~

its back to work for me tomorrow! im dreading it so much.. coz i have so much unfinished work to do.. but based on what i've learned last week, i'll fight my feelings, trust God, push away my worries and stride on with my face lifted up!

i just came back from Pd this evening (we went on sunday evening).. it was to celebrate Rad's bday and ron just invited me on saturday.. i kept thinking it over and over whether i should go.. just to let u know, im not that sociable.. its hard to mingle around.. i may approach ppl some times.. but thats when we are the hosts.. when its the other way round, i feel so self-conscious, so awkward... a sense of low self esteem creeps in.. i really didnt wanna go eventhough they were my friends.. that whole group are close to each other and i was so worried i'd feel left out.. but i pushed and told myself.. 'i need to overcome this.. i need to break from this shell'.. so i decided to go..

the beginning of the journey was okay.. then i started feeling left out.. is this how it feels for some ppl that join my group of frens? thats why sometimes, im the one who says hi to others when im the 'hosting' party.. coz i really dont like that alienated feeling..

the tea time was not good. restaurant's service was horrible.. the toast that i ordered wasnt that nice.. even my hotel's staff canteen cafeteria can have better toast than that! we went to the beach for awhile while waiting for the others to arrive (we didnt leave together).. and it started to drizzle.. there was some confusion on where to meet. finally found the restaurant and found out that Rad invited like 10 of her other college frens! i tell u, we stoned when we saw them! we didnt know there were so many! and they were mandarin speaking! (dont get offended yea chinese ed ppl! >.< ...but ppl from SK background, i think u know what i mean)

so we had dinner together.. my stamina might be real bad too coz i was already tired and sleepy (it was only 9+).. i could have slept if u just gave me a bed! and we got lost again after dinner, trying to find the apartment we rented.. i was so shocked to hear how much the rental was.. a whopping RM 588!!!!!! for one night only!! O.o

anyways, we washed up while Rad's college frens went to the beach.. went out to buy cards, paper cups and ice to play later at night.. at first, it was really awkward.. there was obviously 2 groups of ppl.. us and Rad's college frens.. but while playing games, we loosen up abit.. i was really too tired to go around and chat.. sorry if u had the wrong image of me but, when im tired, im really quiet!

played ice breakers, the killer squeezing hand game and of course, the drinking game.. since the rate of people drinking alot was slow, they changed the game that made 1 person drink each round! idk why but Rad's bf, (whom i dont talk to eventhough we were from the same secondary school and met afew times... he's abit anti social okay! but ppl tend to forgive him since he's good looking.. so much for good looking ppl! unfairness!!) made me drink 2 cups in a row and they wouldnt continue until i finished the last drop! it was only beer but after that, i tell u it got to my head and i found it hard to walk straight.. i was still sober but it was getting to me already.. lols! i chickened out (coz i dont wanna get drunk,.. thats one of my principles in life that i dont wanna ever break,, coz God wouldnt like it.. right God?) and joined Ron and David in the room, playing with Ron's ipad.. thanks to technology i was saved!

oh nooo.. its getting late now! i better get some sleep coz i didnt really sleep last nite! i wanted to tell that going back to PD brings back memories of my training days.. the tea time place was where my sales manager belanja-ed us during our last week in PD.. further up was the malay pasar malam (that we only went once) and in front of the pasar malam was the beach where we ate what we bought from the pasar malam.. afew roads felt familiar and i smiled to myself.. this was the place where i once dreaded coming, but felt heavy at heart when we had to leave (though i was glad we left coz i never wanna stay there long term!).. but just the memories, it was a nice feeling.. =)

wish to go on a trip like this with YA.. i kept thinking if it were with YA, i could be myself more and it would be more fun! i dont think we'd be able to go on a trip since everyone's time clashes.. Mr aaron lee's timing is the hardest to match.. sheryl is always busy.. so is melissa.. christine has lots of activities with her friends.. so i feel lonely sometimes.. coz i dont have friends?? haha.. feels like that sometimes.. :D

okok.. im so long winded.. i really should get to bed now.. work tomorrow is just... sighhhh.. but i need to enjoy what i do so that i dont need to drag my feet to work! God..please help me to love my work! if i dont love the hotel industry, what else should i work as? i dont think i can be a sales person.. honestly speaking la.. i dont like the other departments.. and im going to take my degree, in the hospitality line too? sighh. i dont know what else to study! im not so smart like others.. =/

okay! i really should get going now! till we meet again! (which i think will be real soon! *wink*) nites world! =)